Coming Out

  Crazy title but it got your attention, right? These past few months have been a whirlwind for me. A few months ago, I, a charismatic, outspoken, Catholic girl whose goal in life is to serve her King with her life and music, admitted for the first time ever that she might just be called to the nunnery. Yeah. Wow, right? I learned that admitting something like this out loud is probably the hardest thing ever. It takes a crazy amount of annoying courage. Honestly, I have felt the calling for a few years now. But I want to get married. I want to have kids. I want to drive a Buick Lucrene (feel free to laugh, my mom did) that has car seats in the back seat and backpacks in the trunk. If you're reading this blog, feel special. At the moment, the only people who know about my possible vocation are my parents, three out of five of my siblings, my best friends Brandon and Theresa, my god-family, and another close family that I call my "Spiritual Brethren" (shoutout to Dawn Coty!). I asked everyone not to tell because I didn't want the word getting out and wind up hearing biased opinions from my less-than-spiritual peers and extended family. This was something I wanted to figure out on my own, pray about on my own, and get an answer from God on my own. Then, four days ago, God threw me together with a teen in Ireland who is also discerning the call to religious life. She doesn't have a supportive or spiritual family. No one knows about what she is discerning except her atheist best friend. She is dying to tell her parish priest but is worried that even he won't be supportive. I realized how blessed I am to have the support behind me that I do. I know that if my friend -let's call her Mary- could tell everyone she knows, she would shout it from the rooftops. But she can't. I can. So I will. This spiritual journey, or whatever you want to call it, is something I want to document. Wether I become the next Mother Angelica or the next Mrs. Brady, I am being called to religious life. Is religious life my vocation? I have no dagum clue, but this is something God will let me know in His own time. I feel like if I can use my discernment period in the right way, I might give someone else the courage to answer their call. But first, let me tell y'all about myself.

I love music. Like, a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. I sing all the time. I play guitar and used to play a little piano. The next instrument I pick up will be drums. I am obsessed with NCIS (I love you, Tony DiNozzo!), but NOT NCIS: LA. I love movies. I could live at the movie theatre. I am also obsessed with 30 Seconds To Mars, 7eventh Time Down (I met them!!!!! Best. Night. Ever.), and Skillet. I have seen Newsboys in concert twice, three times this October. I WILL be a Christian rocker even if I'm in a habit. I am obsessed with my mini schnauzer, Mitzi, and send at least four pictures of her to Brandon every week. I am a major dork and almost never go outside. The other day, I drank 7 cups of decaf coffee. No lie. I am probably the easiest person to talk to because I never shut up. I am super socially awkward because I say stupid things because I don't care what people think but I will go out of my way to make someone feel comfortable. Sometimes. I. Love. Kids. I am super ambitious and I want to be a martyr. The biggest lesson I have learned in life is that if you want to be a follower of Christ, you have to give your whole life, every second, every minute, and to do that, you absolutely cannot care what people think about you. I have been through some tough crap in my life but I thank God for it because it honestly has made me so much stronger. So I am prepared for the messages and jokes that might possibly result from post. But I don't care. I need everyone's prayers and the support from those who choose to do so. But be warned: I deal with things by making a joke out of them and by using sarcasm. This blog will probably be funny (but then again, no one ever laughs at me. I laugh at myself. Haha.) but everything I say on here is completely serious and honest!

Sincerely,

A Discerning Teen