Please excuse all typos. I'm using a keyboard for the iPad mini that I got for Christmas. It's quite difficult to type. Haha.
My two favorite saints (and best friends) are both martyrs. St. Therese of Liseux is a matyr in the sence that during her 23 years of life and constant suffering, she perservered and looked at her suffering as a gift. She once said that she felt closest to God while she was suffering. St. Cecelia is a martyr who was sentenced to beheading. The executioner struck her head three times but her head just wouldn't come off. She lie with a split head for three days. During her suffering, it is said that angels appeared and sang to her.
With all of these incredible stories, I have always wondered how these saints of God perservered and stuck it out through all the trials that were thrown their way. I have heard stories of men and women who were forced to walk on nails, burned alive and tortured and beaten and I wonder How did they do it?
In yesterday's gospel (Matthew 10:17-22), Jesus is telling His disciples about the trials and struggles that come along with being His follower. He says we will be handed over to the courts and scouraged but that we shouldn't worry as to what we will say. This isn't just literally, but also figurtively. Now I have heard this story and these verses plenty of times, but when I read it the other day it was like BAM! THERE IT IS! I fully understood what Jesus meant when He went on to say, "When they hand you over, do not worry about how you are to speak or what you are to say. For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you."
This past year, I went through a phase where my (This sounds horrible, I know.) dream was to be a martyr. Not a spiritual martyr, but a physical one. My godbrother gave me so much crap everytime I would say something about it because he thought I was being disrespectful. But I wasn't meaning to be. It's just that I've always wanted to be that person who goes down screaming and who really shakes up the world and makes everyone realize that being a Christian isn't just some role to play; it's for real. It's so real that I would be willing to die to prove it. What better way to tell everyone that Jesus is the pearl beyond price, right? The thing that had me stumped was my wondering how I would withstand it if push came to shove. Would I really last? Could my faith in what I know to be true and believe in with my whole being be strong enough to look death in the eye and say that the gates of hell will not prevail? I know all of this to be true but would my flawed humanity give in? What makes these heroic men and women so special? The HOLY SPIRIT.
Whenever the Spirit is flowing you do things you normally would never have the guts to do. Trust me. It is seriously like you are a wrench and The Lord is the one using you to tighten up a bolt. It's incredible. So last night when Jesus said, "For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you," it just clicked. I got it.
Jesus gave us Holy Communion, His REAL body and blood, to sustain us; so we could be with Him physically for a little while until we get to be with Him in Heaven forever. This verse and what it showed me reminds me of this. It makes me think that when someone is martyred, the Holy Spirit comes to them and gifts the spirit and grace of stong perrserverance. Think about it. It makes sense. If you go to the stake to die for Jesus, He's not just gonna leave ya hanging. This answers all of my questions about how the martyrs did it. This may seem like a long post just to say that the Spirit will take care of it all, but to me it was a huge revelation. The answer was right there in black and white but for some reason, I never saw it before.
I love it when Jesus shows me the answer to something I'd been wondering about for a long time when I never even asked him to in the first place. I guess it just goes to show that He knows my heart better than I do.
A Discerning Teen
